Why I’m done trying to tolerate all of the Trump supporters in my life
After the 2016 election, I tried to come up with excuses for the majority of my family voting for Donald Trump. I tried to play devil’s advocate and understand their reasoning. I tried to rationalize with Trump supporters on both sides of my big family. I tried seeing Trump through their warped POV.
I’ve heard every pro-Trump excuse in the book. They thought a billionaire businessman could run the government well. They said Trump’s de-regulation would make the economy soar for big, beautiful jobs. They believed our establishments needed to get shook up. They hated Hillary with a vengeance.
Well, here were are in another election. Hillary Clinton isn’t running. Our economic GDP tanked by 32.9 percent. Unemployment in New York (my state) was 15.7 percent in June. Every federal department is under a flagrant attack. And the greedy billionaire con-man is profiting off his emoluments.
My family’s every excuse has been proven false. So you’d think their Trump votes would be changing, right? Nope.
So I’m done. There is no excuse.
It’s been four years. If their eyes aren’t open yet, there’s no redeeming them.
I knew my family was flawed, but I thought they were at least halfway intelligent and kind. The Trump era has proven me wrong.
Where are their morals? Where is their empathy for others? Where is their common sense and common decency? I don’t know; I’m left gobsmacked. How could I come from people who think so differently and badly?
I know what Trump supporters in my family would say. I’m a loony, Hillary-loving “libtard” brainwashed by socialism and college elites. Oy. Then they turn on another episode of Tucker Carlson or Judge Jeanine on Fox News.
I‘m not taking it anymore. My eyes will get stuck from all of the rolling. My tongue has been bitten too many times. My ears can’t handle hearing them spew Trump rhetoric. My heart hurts knowing my family supports a monster.
I’m done trying to mend family fences. I’m done trying to keep strained family relationships cordial. I’m done trying to reason with people bankrupt of logical reason. I’m done trying to avoid supper spats and holiday hollering.
Staying close to family members who lack values and facts isn’t worth it.
Excuses only hide the truth
I’ve racked my brain to explain my family’s pro-Trump stance for too long. It was all to escape the hard truth – Trump supporters love what they see. This was their vision when Trump said he’d “Make America Great Again.” Great.
I don’t believe Trump voters turn a blind eye to his indiscretions. They’re aware and applauding. This is exactly what they cast their 2016 ballot for.
Supporters witnessed Border Patrol agents ripping babies away from parents. They’ve looked at children caged inside cold, unclean jails. They’ve heard Trump deride immigrants as “animals” and “rapists.” They’ve seen Trump defy a Supreme Court ruling to destroy DACA. Trump’s voters revel in it.
Pro-Trump partisans have listened to his racist rhetoric against the Black Lives Matter movement. They’ve watched Trump gas peaceful BLM protestors. They know Trump uses the n-word and calls African nations “shitholes.” They elected Trump after years of birtherism conspiracies. Supporters enjoy it.
Voters have had a front-row seat to Trump’s hatred of women. They’ve supported Trump’s anti-woman stances on abortion and birth control. They’ve seen the Access Hollywood tape. They’ve read about Trump’s 25 sexual misconduct allegations. Pro-Trump people responded with “Lock her up!”
Trump lovers have cheered his blatant Islamophobia. They watched Trump institute a Muslim ban. They’ve listened to Trump’s fake stories about 9/11 and General Pershing. They’ve heard Trump equate Mideast refugees to ISIS. They saw Trump bashing a Muslim Gold Star family. Supporters didn’t care.
Trump fans have heard his anti-Semitic rants about George Soros. They’ve watched Trump use anti-Asian slurs like “Kung flu.” They saw Trump implement a transgender military ban. I could go on for hours.
Don’t give Trump’s voters the benefit of the doubt. They’re not looking away. They’re either adoring every second of this or too chickenshit to speak up.
The hypocrisy of Trump supporters
My Republican family loves to act like patriots. In reality, they hate America. They’re willing to flush democracy down the gold toilet Trump sits on. They’ve ignored evidence of Trump’s treasonous call for foreign election interference. They’re silent about Russian bounties for killing our Armed Forces heroes.
Trump supporters don’t mind our spiral into authoritarianism. They’re ready to forfeit their voting rights to a dictator. They aren’t defending the U.S. Postal Service. They watch the Postmaster General disable our mail to block ballots. Mum’s the word about the Trump administration removing mailboxes.
My ultra-conservative, Catholic family supports a man with two divorces. Trump’s paid off porn stars to cover up his constant infidelity. Umm, hello? Lust is a deadly sin. “Thou shalt not commit adultery” is in the Ten Commandments. Oh wait, Trump can break all 10 daily and pretend he’s God.
They’re sacrificing their morals for a fraud posing with a Bible as a prop.
My grandfather, a retired truck driver, thinks Trump cares about him. In 2016, Grandpa said, “Trump has money so he won’t be greedy like other politicians.” Grandpa brings up Obama’s golf trips when Trump’s Mar-a-Lago Club gets mentioned. He loves saying Trump doesn’t take a salary. Grandpa doesn’t comment on Trump stealing over $1.2 million in taxpayer’s funds.
My aunt has been a nurse and cared for disabled adults for 40+ years. She pledged an oath to heal and help people. In 2016, my aunt voted after Trump mocked Serge F. Kovaleski for his disability. In 2020, she’s going to vote again for the anti-science president whose recklessness caused over 177,000 deaths.
Another aunt has been a special needs teacher for 32 years. She’s a Trump supporter despite his careless push to reopen schools during COVID. Trump has proposed to restrict SNAP enrollment for lunches her students rely on. Trump lets a billionaire, for-profit charter school champion ruin our Education Department. My aunt can’t afford to retire while Betsy DeVos has 10 yachts.
Then there’s my father, a girl dad. He voted for the pussy-grabber in 2016. My dad says he prioritized the “economy.” So money means more than my mom, me, and all women. Molesting women is acceptable if there’s a financial gain? It was a slap in the face. My father gave an okay to sexual assault with his vote. Our father-daughter relationship has been strained to put it mildly.
My family’s Trump supporters act like cult members. I can’t criticize a single thing Trump does. I listened for eight years while they tore Obama apart. But now everyone must submit and shut up since Trump is the president. If that’s the case (it’s not), where was the same respect given to President Obama?
Obeying leaders like sheep isn’t democratic. Americans are supposed to hold politicians accountable for actions. Trump isn’t a king. Stop making him one.
Breaking the family bond
It’s easy to ignore Trump supporters when they’re nameless and faceless. It’s easy to dismiss pro-Trump trolls on the internet. It’s easy to tune out chanting Trump lovers at a rally. It’s easy to think Trump fans are a tiny minority.
It’s easy to write them off as ignorant, selfish, racist, and bigoted deplorables.
It’s devastating to see those deplorables are the majority of my family. The Trump supporters have faces I loved my whole life. They’re people who raised me. They’re people I share fond childhood memories with. Yet they’re racist and gung-ho about voting for another four-year Trump dumpster fire.
My mom and I have become an isolated island in a sea of Trump support.
We’ve learned it’s not our place to justify the Trump supporters in our family. It’s our job to confront and correct pro-Trump relatives for the hate they speak. It’s our duty to defend the people of color, LGBTQ+ community, women, and religions that Trump supporters denigrate.
I could’ve forgiven (not forgotten) my pro-Trump family members for their humongous mistake in 2016. There’s no damn way I’m forgiving anyone in 2020. There’s no excuse to vote for this madman again.
Key takeaways
If you’re related to or friends with Trump supporters, it’s time to speak up. Don’t be afraid to confront people you love for racism, sexism, and any -ism.
We must ruffle our narrow-minded families’ feathers. Everyone must be ready to make pro-Trump relatives uncomfortable and ashamed for backward views. If not us, who will?
Being quiet and tip-toeing around politics makes us complicit. Donald Trump isn’t a “political” issue to avoid discussing. He’s a moral issue. We won’t make progress as a nation if Trump-style rhetoric isn’t challenged headfirst.
Have tough conversations before November. Use your strong voice to denounce hate and fake news. You may enlighten your family or not but try.
And vote your heart out this election season.
Originally posted on Medium by Mollie Gray